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Read e-book online A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation PDF

By Daniel Menaker

An outstanding speak is an research of and advisor to that the majority completely human of all activities-- dialog.

Drawing on over 40 years of expertise in American letters, Menaker pinpoints the standards that force and brighten up each solid dialog: the vagaries (and joys) of subtext; the deeper constitution and that means of conversational move; the subliminal indications that consultant our disclosures and confessions; and the numerous different hurdles we needs to transparent alongside the best way. relocating past self-help musings and "how to" suggestion, he has created a classy, humorous, and impressive booklet: a party of "the such a lot excusively human of all activities."

In a time while dialog continues to be deeply important-- for construction relationships, for stress-free, even for realizing who we are-- and likewise more and more imperiled (with Blackberries and texting more and more in vogue), an outstanding speak is a fresh get together of the sophisticated adventures of a great dialog.

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SUMMARY Many addicted individuals have characteristics that predispose them to drug abuse. These predispositional factors include (1) general exaggerated sensitivity to unpleasant feelings, (2) deficient motivation to control behavior, (3) impulsivity, (4) excitement seeking and low tolerance for boredom, (5) low tolerance for frustration, and (6) in m a n y cases, insufficient prosocial alternatives for gaining pleasurable feelings, and a sense of hopelessness in ever achieving this goal. LFT is characterized by exaggeration of the degree of loss resulting from thwarting, blaming other people for any frustration, a strong desire to punish the offender, and overlooking other ways of problem solving.

In the case of declaration of war, lobbying for a few votes for peace m a y forestall the fateful action; in the case of addiction, strengthening the votes for abstinence can reverse the tendency to use. In the long run, however, it is necessary to build a solid "majority" to forestall relapse. 36 COGNITFVE THERAPY OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE The point to this analogy is that it is not necessary to eliminate cravings totally or to institute absolute control. It is sufficient to change the relative strengths of the two parts of the equation.

Beck et al. (1979) have used the analogy of the votes in Congress for a declaration of war to illustrate h o w suicidal behavior m a y be modified. A somewhat similar analogy m a y be applied to a decision to use. To declare war requires a simple plurality, a margin of one vote of the yeas over the nays. However, just as in the case of suicide, if the decision is postponed or the relationship of yea to nay votes is changed in favor of the nays, the progression to action is arrested. In the case of declaration of war, lobbying for a few votes for peace m a y forestall the fateful action; in the case of addiction, strengthening the votes for abstinence can reverse the tendency to use.

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A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation by Daniel Menaker

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